Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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