another moral hangover. fuck.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
