Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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