dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
