Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
