idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
