I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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