her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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