I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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