does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Randomize
