i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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