My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
