Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
