Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
