I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
