Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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