he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
