I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
