I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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