I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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