I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
