5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
