I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
