Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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