thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
