Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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