Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
