We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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