32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
