STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
At least make sure they are 18
Why
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Couch. On fire.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
