saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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