My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
