Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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