i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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