I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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