I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
