I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
The air was thick with penises
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
