If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Someone signed my nipple.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
