I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
