didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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