I've blown a few things in my day
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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