I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
