We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
