Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
