I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
