i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
We are all done wearing pants today
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
