He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm getting married
To pizza
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
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