my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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