Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
They have beer where we have blood.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
