it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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