all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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