omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
