R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Houston, we have a squirter
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
