my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
